A Year and A Day

It's almost been one year since my last post. I guess you could say that I'm not an avid blogger. I just feel that sometimes I would prefer to read a good book or watch a movie instead of blog. I guess I don't find my life that interesting and what is interesting I prefer to tell people. Blogs are convenient though; hence why I have one. So here come the updates for 09 in picutres

John and I may be moving to WA this summer to work at a church plant with these guys


This is Me and John at our sister Jen's 30th Bday. A scavenger hunt all around north Texas warrants Mexican food afterwards.


It seems that blogspot wants me to delay my post even longer. I'm not able to upload pictures right now so this pathetic blog will have to do for now. Sorry guys.

Life in Fast Forward

This is what I've been doing since my last post (three months ago).


Three Bridal Showers


All the girls who did the planning


Bowling with the girls at Kelsey's birthday


Pre-marital counseling (I love the Goffs)


Pre-graduation hoop-la




Bachlorett Party






Eating up for the big day


Honey Moon in Puerto Rico at El Yucan rainforest








The secluded treasure of Culebra








Josh Martin's wedding in LA




Why I wouldn't want to live in LA (no offense anyone)this is the beach


5K at Pioneer Day in Eustace, Tx


This is me finishing strong to win 2nd place in my age group (my 1st 5K with absolutely no training or running prior). I was timed at 38.08 min.

I will hopefully be back with some more wedding pics. This DVD thing won't let me upload the pics. I hope this catches everyone up : )

Failures...

Lately, my heart has been in a really dark place. I have questioned a lot of the things I once knew to be true:

Do I really love the Lord?
Am I hungry for righteousness or am I fooling myself?
Do I believe the Lord has the power to change me?
Do I believe that the Lord forgives me unconditionally?

I have had some failures in my walk with the Lord. Failures that I never dreamed I would experience...and so close to the day of victory in these areas. I feel far from the Lord and sometimes even that's enough for me to "give up" seeking him alltogether.

A great man once said that when God feels distant it isn't because he has gone anywhere. God doesn't move, we do. I do. I wish I knew in which direction to go running back to him. Sometimes I feel like it's a spiritual game of marco-polo but I'm the only one playing and no one is answering with "polo."

Sometimes I wish I could come out of the Christian closet with these failures, but I guess I do prefer to be a hyprocrite instead of appearing as one. If I didn't I would have confessed by now. It's that pride in me that says, "you can't tell them that, you're supposed to be someone they look up to." But, will they look up to me more if I confess it? Do they even look up to me now?

These are some of the difficult things I have been chewing and choking on the past couple of weeks. Hopefully, it didn't dampen your day too much.

a PASSION-ate weekend

So, this weekend was Passion08 in Dallas and the Lord totally grabbed the reigns of my life and said whoa!


These were the things I learned:

- Christians are usually weird when they need to fit in and fit in when they need to be "weird."

- There are people who are willing to risk their lives for the Lord, but won't wake up early tomorrow to pray.

- I need the Holy Spirit (something I have overlooked), and need to pray for it in order to do powerful things for the Lord.

- The Holy Spirit is better than having Jesus with me b/c it's God within me.

- Elijah was a man just like us.

- Church can't just be a huddle. We need to run some plays.

- God isn't going to put me in charge of any of His great plans if I cannot be faithful in the little things he has intrusted to me, such as prayer, fasting, studying the word, etc...

-If he is my Lord, there is no response to what he asks me to do outside of Yes, Lord.

-God isn't going to tell me the details of the plans he has for me. He is going to tell me about himself and if that's not good enough he will find someone else.

Something to think about:

Look at Christian living from a Biblical perspective. i.e. how would you and I live if we had never been to church and all we had was the Bible to tell us about the Lord and how we should live our lives? Would we live like we are living now?

What the Lord spoke to me:

- You are my daughter whom I love more than you will ever understand.

- You can still put to death your old self, even as a born again Christian, and renew your strength in me.

- I love you and have great plans for you.

Aftermath

I had an amazing day with the Lord today and didn't experience the typical "low" after a conference like Passion.

I am so excited to see what the Lord has planned for me in these coming days and how the Holy Spirit is going to take affect into my life.
For His glory.

Better than Lost...Found

There is a new show that I actually make a point to watch. It's called Eli Stone. It comes on right after Lost and is a new series. It's about a lawyer who finds out he's a modern day prophet. It sounds funny but I really like it.

I don't do my soul searching on the show, but I find it so refreshing to see something wholesome and religiously-oriented on TV. I say "religious" because I haven't figured the show out yet. They refer to "GOD" but give him no specific name, so it's iffy. I do find it hilarious that every time the main character, Eli wants to get things hot and heavy with his fiance a vision occurs to stop him from engaging in pre-marital sex.

If I had to relate this show to anything it would have to be an old show I used to watch when I was little called Quantum Leap. I absolutely loved that show and hope that this one doesn't disappoint or else I'll have to go back to watching almost zero TV due to the fear that it will completely be a waste of my life.

To find out more about the show check out this link http://abc.go.com/primetime/elistone/index?pn=index

Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging...wait that's me!

So, I took this personality test to compare it to what my business profile said and I was suprised....it turns out I'm kind of amazing.

Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging
by Joe Butt Profile:

Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists -- INFJs gravitate toward such a role -- are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.

INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ.

INFJs are not easily led. (That's an understatment :) These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.

INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.

Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche.

I must offer the opportunity for you to try it too. It's kind of addicting. Click Here: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
And who doesn't believe something written by Joe Butt.


Famous INFJs:
Nathan, prophet of Israel
Aristophanes
Chaucer
U.S. Presidents: James Earl "Jimmy" Carter
Nathaniel Hawthorne
Fanny Crosby, (blind) hymnist
Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Shirley Temple Black, child actor, ambassador
Martin Luther King, Jr., civil rights leader, martyr
Billy Crystal
Nelson Mandela
Mel Gibson
Nicole Kidman
Jerry Seinfeld

Every Time I try to get up I get Knocked Down...

I am recently engaged and going through the experience of finishing my last semester of college, finding a job, figuring out where the Lord wants me and my fiance to start our new life, and planning a wedding in the outrageous span of four months.

Before I began this great adventure I knew that this semester would be an attack on my relationship with the Lord. The "busyness" of life would cost me; and any moment in which I try to pursue the Lord is followed by a distraction.

For example tonight I wrote down a list of ways that I can grow in my relationship to the Lord (these are the hows of what I desire). It wasn't even an hour before I started feeling miserable. I was alone, I had no one to talk to, and I was terribly sick. Then it started. That little voice in my head telling me that my life was pathetic and so was I.

I bought into it; pittying myself. But then it dawned on me. As I was muttering under my breath about this and that, the Lord spoke to me "you are alone because I want you to stop depending on others and start depending on me." I'm ashamed to say this, but my immedeate response was "I don't want to depend on you." The truth had escaped my lips before I had the chance to deceive myself. I started back peddling. "Lord, I do want to depend on you, but I just want people to care for me, especially when they claim that they love me." But, it was too late. The Lord had set me in front of a mirror and shown me my wickedness.

That's when I realized that these moments that seem dark and lonely are actually the greatest opportunities for me to press into the Lord and receive the most undevided attention there is. The attention that only an almighty, merciful God can give. Praise God. Amen.